Maren Wade’s Confessions of a Showgirl: Couples Counseling Showgirl Style
When most married couples fight, maybe they retreat to separate rooms to cool off. When you’re a showgirl married to a magician, he makes you disappear—and that’s when you’re not fighting. That’s just a normal day at work.
But what happens when that magician is supposed to make his showgirl wife disappear but doesn’t, and then he blames her for it? Well, she asks another showgirl to step in to settle the dispute.
Meet my fellow showgirl Chloe Crawford. Not only is she a Playboy model and Fantasystarlet, she’s also the assistant to celebrity magician Murray Sawchuck. Murray also happens to be her husband. (Okay, I have a confession to make. He didn’t just happen to be her husband. I’m sure they planned it out at some point in time.)
Anyway, in Murray’s magic show there are several moving parts. If you miss any little part, it’s like getting caught in an avalanche of embarrassment. (Personally as a showgirl, I’d almost prefer a real avalanche to the embarrassment.)
To make matters worse, Murray is onstage the entire show, so if anything goes wrong, the assistant, aka wife, has to deal with it. Hmm … typical male move.
But there are two sides to every story, or for a showgirl, sometimes three or four. So I decided to hear them out and see if I could mediate this lover’s quarrel.
She said: “In the finale of our show, Murray is supposed to go into a box. His other assistant, Lefty, closes the box, locks it and throws a curtain over it. Suddenly, Murray is supposed to appear on top of the box and then he opens it to magically reveal me inside. It’s our big finish. But I couldn’t make it to the box in time. I tried to tell Murray. I was screaming his name from the wings, hoping he would look up at me and see I wasn’t in the box. But he wasn’t listening. He never listens.”
Hmm … typical male move. Okay, let’s hear Murray’s side of the story.
He said: “I always listen to Chloe. I just don’t always understand her. I thought she was yelling my name to let me know she was in the box. I just want to make her happy but I don’t know what she wants.”
Hmm … typical woman. Sorry, go on Murray.
“Try to see it from my side. The audience is filled with suspense. I’m about to give Chloe her big reveal. I ask the audience, ‘Guess who’s in the box? You’ll never believe who is inside! … It’s not me!’ The suspense is overwhelming. And then, I open it, revealing … an empty box. Like that’s real suspenseful. When I needed my wife most she wasn’t there.”
So let me get this straight: Murray was supposed to open the box to reveal Chloe inside but she wasn’t there? So what happened next?
He said: “We got a standing ovation.”
Did you just say you got a standing ovation?! Then what is there to argue about? You got a standing ovation for a magic trick gone wrong? That’s the best magic trick ever!
Don’t miss Chloe, Murray and Lefty in their show, Murray Celebrity Magician in Planet Hollywood’s Sin City Theater, every night except Friday. For more info, visit murraysawchuck.com and chloelouisecrawford.com.
Follow me on Twitter @marenwade