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It Don't Mean a Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing

Maren Wade’s Confessions of a Showgirl: It Don’t Mean A Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing

I want to expose a dark, mysterious and gripping subculture that exists deep within the world of Las Vegas that isn’t talked about often. It’s not a place where everyone can go and those that do, have a unique vantage point. They hold the special key to the green door. Welcome to the exclusive lifestyle of swinging. There I said it. I got it out.

The swinging life can be a tempting turn on and is quite adventurous at times but it is also a life led under the radar. Some view it as unsettling and unpredictable while others can’t seem to get enough. Those who engage in this sport leave their inhibitions at the door and never look back. It may not be for everyone but no one can deny the skill involved to be successful at swinging.

There are so many obstacles to conquer in order to be a good swing. You have to be warmed up and ready to go mentally and physically at a moment's notice. You may be surprised to learn that there is a lot of preparation that must be done well before the anticipated engagement. It’s arguably one of the hardest jobs in the theater.

Wait a minute, what did you think I was talking about?

Just to make sure we are all on the same page, I should probably explain what a swing is to those who are not as familiar with the theater world. I would imagine you’ve heard of an understudy, cover, standby etc? Well a “swing” is a performer who fills in for several different roles in a production. I’m not quite sure how the specific term “swing” came about but I could take a guess as to the ins and outs of it.

Being a swing is like managing a multiple personality disorder. You never know which personality is going to come out at any given time and you don’t get much notice when it does. You get to learn several different versions of the same show. That’s enough to make a showgirl insane if she didn’t already start out that way.

Now maybe you’re thinking, “How is it possible a swing can constantly be pulled in different directions and like it?!” Or perhaps “How is it that swings seem to have no qualms about engaging with multiple partners and on the same night no less?!” But I assure you there is an order to the chaos.

The key to a swing’s success is in her little black book. Every swing has one that contains all her trade secrets. You know, who the players are, their favorite positions, their usual times etc…. The swings that really excel are the ones who commit their little black books to memory. Then there are the “Super Swings,” well don’t get me started on those because I may never stop.

Las Vegas is a town that breeds adventure around every corner. There are so many thrilling characters who make up our magical city. There are the ones you see all the time and then there are the ones whom you only see out some of the time. But even when you don’t see them, you can rest assured that our city’s swings are all around, hiding in the shadows, watching over us, and most importantly, ready at all times to swing on in and save the day.


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